Common Ground

*I am going to mention the health care reform debate, and this post is not going to be that funny.*

Consider yourself forewarned, and please do not become alarmed, stop reading this post or succumb to the overwhelming urge to spew rhetoric. I am not planning to talk politics or debate which "-ism" is more flawed. There are far too many nuances to the issues that I don't fully grasp.

The thing I do want to talk about is a pattern I see that has become increasingly alarming to me as this wearisome media storm rages on. Simply put, when did we all stop trusting everyone but ourselves? I feel odd even bringing this up because I am usually what I would term a realist and what some would call a cynic. I'm certainly not a Pollyanna that wants to carry on blindly with my head in the clouds, but the level of distrust I see astounds me. We don't trust our leaders. We don't trust our fellow citizens or our neighbors, and some of us in our hearts seem to not even trust our friends. So much of the chatter is centered on "them" and how "they" are trying to screw "us" over. It's coming from all sides too. I know people on both extremes of the political spectrum accusing the other group of the same thing.

The funny thing is, when I think of the people I know, I can't conjure one image of someone that is actively working to take advantage of others. Certainly there are plenty of flawed humans and hidden agendas, but I have a hard time swallowing the idea that the whole world gets up in the morning looking to step on everyone around them. Mostly, I know a lot of people that work hard and try to live good lives. More often than not, I'm surprised by the kindness and generosity of people, rather than the opposite. Certainly there are some selfish jerks out there, but I personally find them to be the exception to the rule. This was even the case when I worked for a social service agency. I found myself consistently and pleasantly surprised that both the clients of our food bank and our wealthy Eastside donors were generous, grateful and considerate of their community.

To me, this is a problem that is more insidious and harmful than any policy change. It's being highlighted through the health care reform debate, but I think it's not limited to this arena. I wish the media would give it a little attention and maybe leave Sandra Bullock alone for awhile. I think to some extent fear and distrust are natural feelings for a person who is stressed or threatened, a state many of us find ourselves in these days. I also believe that we have control over our mindset and our emotions. Personal responsibility starts with me--not with "them." In fact, our thinking and our behavior are the only things we can control no matter what the external situation may be.

While I certainly believe in healthy dialogue and debate, I can't help but feel that we would be collectively more content and better equipped to navigate this stressful economic and political time if we committed to begin from a place of trust. In my opinion if we allow ourselves to be drawn into an atmosphere of fear and distrust, it will only serve to hurt us both individually and collectively. I know you think I might burst into a chorus of Kumbaya at any moment, but any negotiator would back me up. It's much easier to find common ground when you are looking for it. Can we try to see our own humanity in those whom we want to distrust? It's so much harder to fear "them" when we do, and I believe it will lift a heavy weight from our shoulders.